Are You Stretched to a Numbing Ineffectiveness?

Before the morning worship service, I corralled my two toddlers and I into the restroom. Anyone with toddlers knows this is no easy feat.

After chasing the youngest down the sanctuary aisle, we finally settled into a pew.

Immediately, a sweet teenage girl quietly slipped in the pew behind me informing me of my predicament. If I could crawl under the pew and slither out, I would have.

My four-year-old daughter’s squeaky voice pelted, “Whatcha’ gonna to do, Mama? Whatcha’ gonna to do?”

One option was to slither to the floor and roll under two pews until I reached the side door. It was only fifteen or twenty feet away but I didn’t suppose it would look favorably upon me to leave the kids. Especially, since I determined I would never return. This called for an immediate change in church membership. Plus, I’d have to stand up again to open the door.  No way was I going to expose my backside again.

My only option was to remain seated, laugh it off, and yank the dress out as discreetly as possible.

I assured him with all the control top undergarments, everythingfelt stuffed in there! Due to the numbing tightness, I was totally unaware the dress had gone astray.

That incident happened over fifteen years ago. Women don’t wear sheer nylon hose like they used to, and many opt for solid colors or no hose at all now. Nonetheless, not one Sunday has gone by since then that I have not triple-checked the location of my hemline. Needless to say—lesson learned.