How to Plan a Tea Social in a Distancing World

Just as it happened for many of you, my mom’s birthday occurred during COVID-19.  Perhaps, like us, you wondered if it was appropriate to party during a pandemic. Whenever there are serious issues taking place in the world, sometimes we feel guilty about celebrating anything. Yet, there is joy, and even health benefits when people are able to gather in a safe arena. Thus, my daughters and I decided to host a birthday tea for my mom. Would you like to know how to plan a tea social in a distancing world? It’s easier than you think.

Declare Your Reasons

Even after COVID-19 fades into history, there will be other predicaments that cause people to distance themselves from others. You may be questioned why you want to host a tea now—in the middle of a health crisis, a family crisis, a community crisis.  Whatever issue is taking place, pray for discernment. The timing may not be right. But, if you sense it is, then, declare your reasons for the event. Some folks will nod their heads in bewilderment. Others will find your reasons encouraging.

In addition to our desire to celebrate my mother’s birthday, we acknowledged the fact that we all needed the small get-together. After months of isolating, we greatly missed one another. Phone calls and viewing faces via our devices did not compare to being in the presence of the ones we love. We needed face-to-face interaction.

Just as there some health benefits to drinking tea; the act of actually meeting together also promotes health.

According to a 2020 study of older adults, conducted by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine:

• Social isolation significantly increased a person’s risk of premature death from all causes, a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity.
• Social isolation was associated with about a 50% percent increased risk of dementia.
• Poor social relationships (characterized by social isolation or loneliness) was associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke.
• Loneliness was associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide.

National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. 2020. Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System. Washington, DC: The National Academies Press.

Truth be told, a little solitude is good for the soul. However, too much solitude, while it may create a virus-free environment, may also produce a friendless one.

Conversations held over tea and cookies can warm tender hearts and soften tough days. Hosting a tea is definitely a social event where you can use a distancing protocol and still delight your guests.

How to Plan a Tea: To Theme or Not to Theme?

Whether it’s a celebration or simply a time to reconnect, your tea event may be a brunch, an afternoon tea (lighter fare such as scones and finger foods), or an evening high tea (heavier fare more like a meal with meat).

To have a theme or not, that is the question.

Would your reading-fanatic friends enjoy a book theme? Maybe conduct a reading or a discussion of a recently released book.

Perhaps consider a whimsical Mad Hatter’s Tea. This could be easily altered to fit all ages. Keep it to adults or invite the children! This offers a humorous remedy to those who’ve been going a little stir-crazy at home!

How about a Bible study tea? Sipping on a robust cup of Rooibos tea while learning about courageous women in the Bible sounds wonderful.

Depending on the occasion, you can utilize a play on words—a Materni-Tea or a Hospitali-Tea. But, hopefully not a Quaran-Tea! (ugh)

A theme might be fun, but it isn’t mandatory. The main point is to enjoy spending time together.

Issue the Invitation

Plan to invite the number of guests with which you are comfortable, even if it’s just for one friend. Small gatherings are more intimate and they’re easier to accommodate if physical distancing is required.

Once your guest list is set, there are several ways to issue your invitations. Personally, I like handwritten invitations delivered via the postal mail. It’s never out of style to make someone feel special with a personal note. However, most recipients will appreciate invitations via any medium when extended with a heartfelt desire for fellowship.

If a few guests are nervous about attending due to health concerns, let them know exactly what you’re doing to keep the event a healthy one. If a guest sends their regrets because they’re still uncomfortable gathering, then respond with grace and love. Maintaining a good relationship is more important than moping over a friend’s declination to your tea party.

How to Warmly Greet in a Distancing World

Physical greetings change during a health crisis. Hugs, handshakes, and even fist and elbow bumps may not be the etiquette of the day. You’ll have to get creative with your salutations.

Masks hide our smiles, but not our smiling eyes, or the tone of our voices. Consider adding a new welcome mat and a colorful potted plant at the front door. Then, greet guests with a cheery hello as you back up six feet from the door entrance! Or think about hosting your tea social in a sweet shady spot outside.

Set the Table

While Styrofoam plates may make cleanup easy, I encourage you to set your table with something a little more special. Fabric tablecloths and cloth napkins are a nice touch but you may decide some pretty, paper napkins are better suited for the event.

If you’re aiming for a fancy-schmancy tea, you’ll find information here on how to properly set a table.

I’ve acquired a collection of teacups and teapots over the years. The matching sets are nice. But I prefer to set out an assortment of teacups and tell my guests to choose the one they like. You may even choose to give your guests a teacup as a special way to remember the event.

For my mother’s “socially distanced” birthday tea, I prepared an individual teapot for each guest. You can find teapots and teacups at many thrift stores and antique shops. That’s where I have bought most of mine over the years. Plus, a few were gifts or family heirlooms.

When setting the table for a social-distancing group, most likely you’ll need to use more than one table. Two of our place settings were spread out at our long, dining room table that usually seats eight people. Think about what area you can use that will seat the most people at least six feet apart. This may mean hosting a tea for a small number of people, spreading out into two rooms, or moving your tea to a larger facility or outdoors.

You may set up a separate serving table for the food. Or perhaps prepare in advance a tiered serving tray with all the food offerings for each table or for individual guests.

Put Your Guests at Ease

If health is an issue, then there are certain things you can do to put your guests at ease.  

For my mother’s birthday tea, we took extra precautions even though the CDC stated there was “no current evidence to support the transmission of COVID-19 associated with food or food packaging.” However, because several members in my family are survivors of cancer and heart disease and because we have family members with auto-immune disorders, we still took extra precautions since the CDC also said, “It may be possible that a person can get COVID-19 by touching a surface or object that has the virus on it and then touching their mouth, nose, or possibly eyes, but this is not thought to be the main way the virus spreads.”

Obviously, it’s important to follow safe food handling procedures. But also, take into consideration other ways to alleviate concerns.

In the bathroom, use paper towels rather than a single hand towel. A small vase of fresh flowers is also a nice touch. I placed a can of disinfectant wipes on the counter for those who wanted to use them. However, later I came up with an idea to make this stark reminder of sanitization a little more pleasing to the eye. I simply covered the container in a pretty adhesive paper. Since we’ll probably be using disinfectants more often, I hope disinfectant companies take the hint and make their containers more attractive. There are other items we can make more appealing as well.

Make Masks & Gloves Fun

Half of my guests would have been fine to be mask-free at our tea party. But in order to be a blessing and to help everyone feel safe, we all decided to wear face masks when we were in close proximity of one another and when we were near the serving table of food.

If you plan a tea social, and you think face masks are in order, then consider ways to make them fun. Challenge guests to create the most elegant or unusual mask. Hold a contest to see who can bedazzle a beauty that’s still breathable!

In addition, gloves can be fun as well. For our tea, I surprised our casually-dressed guests with elbow-length white gloves. They found a pair rolled up with glittery ribbon at each place setting. They laughed at how the extra step for sanitization could be somewhat elegant. We kept the gloves on when handling serving utensils and of course, for the photo op.

I found gloves at Oriental Trading for less than four dollars a pair. I’ve noticed those are no longer available as of this writing. Perhaps my idea about elegant sanitization went viral.

How to Plan a Tea Menu

There’s such a wide array of foods you can serve at a tea. We kept our menu simple. One of my daughters made bacon and cheddar scones. The other daughter baked chocolate cupcakes, some with peanut butter icing and some with almond-flavored buttercream icing. We also had varieties of cheese and crackers, grapes, nuts, and gourmet chocolate candies.

If you need help with menu ideas, check out my “All Things Tea” Pinterest board to get ideas brewing.

Teas

I’ve found over the years of hosting teas for children, as well as for adults, that it’s best to provide beverages they’re accustomed to such as sweet, iced tea and lemonade. However, I also like to introduce them to hot teas if they’ve never tried them before. Most children will try them when they learn they can add a sugar cube or two to their cups. So make sure you get a box of sugar cubes from the sugar aisle!

You can select green, white, oolong, and black teas. Some guests may enjoy herbal teas, even though they’re not true teas. Assemble a variety of flavors for your guests to try. Some popular ones are English Breakfast, Earl Grey, Lady Early Grey, Darjeeling, Cinnamon Apple Spice, and Peach. Always include your basic Orange Pekoe black tea, which interestingly isn’t associated with oranges at all.

I’ll not discuss how to make a perfect pot of hot tea in this post, but you can easily find that information online.

Entertainment

If you have a theme for your tea, you can include a game or two. Socially-distanced ideas to consider are a scavenger hunt, a “what’s-in-your-purse game, word games, bingo, charades, and trivia games.

Live or recorded music is also an idea. For my mother’s birthday, my sister wrote and played a song on her guitar. Maybe you have an uplifting poem or scripture you’d like to share.

An outdoor tea would pair well with a game of croquet or a nature walk.

Games are fun. We all could use a little fun right now. But, when planning a tea social in a distancing world, the most important thing is drawing one another close.

We draw one another close by engaging in conversation, listening intently, and encouraging one another. FaceTime takes on a more precious, three-dimensional meaning. We can “hug” by sharing a laugh, and maybe even a few tears. And, we can part with a “kiss” by praying for one another.

"Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above."


- John Fawcett, pub. 1782.

Are you ready to get social and plan a tea? I’d love to hear about it!

*If you’d like me to send you the recipes for my daughter’s delicious Lemon Raspberry scones and her Bacon-Cheddar-Chive scones, use the contact page and I’ll send those to you!