If You Choose Homeschooling: Step 3 – Commit

This is the last post in the series, 3 Steps to Take If You Choose Homeschooling: Step 3 – Commit. In the first post of this series, we addressed some of our fears. One fear we did not discuss was the fear of commitment.

Concerns About Commitment

When parents are considering homeschooling, their first thoughts focus on their children’s education.

But, let’s be honest.

At some point, whether they say it out loud or not, parents ask themselves: “If I choose to homeschool, what kind of commitment is involved?”

Here are a few thoughts to encourage you.

How Long Is My Homeschooling Commitment?

When you sign up to homeschool, there are no boxes to check indicating how long you intend to homeschool.

At this point, are you thinking a few months, a couple of years, or until high school graduation?

You could tell yourself you plan to homeschool one day at a time. That’s not a bad plan. But if a day unfolds for you like the one I had with my child a few weeks ago, it’s hasta la vista, homeschooling!

Surely, I’m not the only one who has had days when the kids and I seem to butt heads on everything. Nothing goes according to plan. You know, a day when it seems like you’re constantly retying the same fraying knot at the end of your sanity rope?

Days like that make homeschool moms consider early retirement.

Instead of committing to homeschool one day at a time, perhaps we should consider pledging to one year at a time.

Commit to one full year without threatening to chuck it all out the window.

And to do that we do need to rely on God’s help, moment by moment, day by day.

For me, the first year of homeschooling was the most challenging—just trying to figure out what was best for each child and overcoming my fears of failing.

After we got the first year behind us, we relaxed and fell in love with homeschooling!

Did we have days when we drove each other nuts? You bet we did.

Commit to Building Stronger Relationships

On several occasions, I’ve heard someone say, “I’d love to homeschool. But, I’m afraid my child and I would “kill” each other!”

If family members often clash, homeschooling provides opportunities to build stronger relationships.

With the Children

One of our main goals in homeschooling is to nurture our relationships with our children.

Because we are a family of humans, we have moments when our self-focused natures clash. Parents included.

But one beauty of homeschooling is we are in it together.

Homeschool parents have the advantage of offering immediate feedback. They are near their children to guide and encourage, usually at the very moment they need them, in matters of the mind and of the heart.

While advancing in academics is impressive; developing strong, thriving relationships with God, family, and other people in the world is essential.

If your relationship with your child is strained, then perhaps, the number one goal for your first year of homeschooling will be to work on strengthening that bond.

Model respect, commence productive dialogue (not monologue), and establish healthy boundaries.

If you and your child/teen disagree a great deal, you may want to consider pastoral or professional counseling.

Ease your child into homeschooling. Massive changes across the board may not be the best building blocks for a good relationship.

Introduce them to other homeschooled kids via co-ops and activities. But, also, make sure they have time to connect with their other friends from church or from their previous school.

Be the mama, first.

Knowing when to turn off the “teacher mode,” and just be the mama, is something I’ve tussled with over the years. I have had a really hard time dividing the two.

My struggle is a timing issue. Sometimes I inadvertently ignite “Operation Overload.”

Something in the back of my brain tells me to cram as much knowledge as I can into my kids before they leave my care. It probably stems from my fear of not teaching them everything they need to know.

Daily, I’m learning how to lean more on God’s timing, rather than my own understanding of it.

The teacher teaches, evaluates, corrects, and gives feedback in a systematic manner. The goal is to push forward to reach the completion of a subject in a timely and satisfactory manner.

Our homeschool environment may require some form of structure and dedication. But, it helps to remind ourselves our role as the mama outranks our role as the homeschool teacher.

Be the mama, first. The mama loves unconditionally. She recognizes the importance of nurturing her children’s hearts before teaching their minds. She is patient, kind, and encouraging. The mama keeps no record of wrongs, but she models grace and forgiveness while still requiring accountability. She looks to God for wisdom in how to proceed in all situations. And, she consistently prays for her children.

Building a relationship of mutual love and respect with our children takes time—most likely, years. Choosing to homeschool provides plenty of opportunities to make this happen.

With the Spouse

Whether you homeschool or not, you already know the struggles of prioritizing within your family.

The focus of this post isn’t on marriage. However, since we’re on the topic of commitment, I want to emphasize the importance of thoughtful dedication to our marriages.

Homeschooling takes up time and space in our homes. Also, it includes time away from our homes for field trips, co-ops, and other activities.

We must be on guard not to allow any aspect of our children’s lives to come before the pledges of devotion we made to our spouses. This is not an easy task and requires prayer and intentional effort.

With all the commitment we give to our spouses and children, where does that leave us as individuals?

With God

Our dedication to our families and the homeschooling adventure will bring joy. But, it will be difficult to maintain if not approached with the right perspective.

It’s easy for homeschool moms to become consumed with expectations and overwhelmed by obligations.

Book author and homeschool blogger, Jamie C. Martin, said in one of her posts:

“Your self-sacrifice taken too far does not benefit anyone living under your roof. A sleep-deprived homeschooling parent will not be at her best, nor will one who has given up everything she once loved so she can teach her kids instead.” 

Therefore, to maintain our sanity, we must set aside time for ourselves. Time to be still and quiet, time to develop our own skills and talents, and time to just relax and do something fun.

Also, in order to build stronger relationships with our children and our spouse, we will need to continue growing in our relationship with Jesus Christ. All the self-help books in the world will fall short of what His Word alone can do.

Our relationship with Christ supersedes all else.

The kids will see our struggles—as a parent and as a homeschool teacher. All we can do is humbly model a heart of obedience to the Lord.

We can use our awkward moments to teach our children. They need to hear us acknowledge our shortcomings–to them and to the Lord. Allow them to hear our prayers as we repent of sinful attitudes, words, and actions and let them hear us ask for God’s help.

Then, let us show our children, because of God’s wonderful love and fresh mercies every morning, we can begin each homeschool day the same way.  

So, if you choose to homeschool, commit to asking God, moment by moment, what He wants you to teach your kids and what He wants to teach you.

He will answer.