When to Tell Kids the Truth About Santa

I remember the day I learned the truth about Santa Claus. Do you remember when you discovered Santa wasn’t real? Did you figure it out on your own, or did someone tell you? Perhaps you finally pinned your parents down and demanded the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Now that you’re a parent, perhaps you’re wondering when and how to break the news to your kids.

I have some suggestions for you to consider.

The Jolly Jig is Up in January

No matter how old your children are, January is a good time to tell them the truth about Santa Claus. The tree ornaments and stockings won’t reappear for eleven more months. If you tell them now, they’ll have time to grieve and prepare a new mindset for next Christmas.

Plus, it’s not typically a discussion topic among children in January. So, your children will likely not be the ones telling this newfound truth to other kids. However, I’ve gathered some helpful tips if you fear your kids will tell their friends.

Santa Simmers Down in the Summer

You might consider talking about Santa when summer break begins. Congratulate your child on a successful year of learning new things and growing older and wiser. Perhaps mention things they used to believe when they were younger but now know differently. Tell them the reasons why you chose to play “Santa.” Then, gently tell them why you think it’s time they learn the facts. You can learn about the man, the myths, and the legends on the History Channel. Right now, they have an article, “Santa Claus: Real Origins & Legends“ for you to read.

Santa’s Sleigh Never Starts

I have blogged before about the humorous event that led us to finally tell our four-year-old daughter the truth about Santa in the post “Besides Love, the Best Gift for Baby’s First Christmas.”  

My husband and I learned the hard way that it would’ve been much easier if we had never started Santa’s imaginary sleigh. Nonetheless, the moment of truth came in January, right after her fourth birthday. We began by telling our little girl how the legend of Santa Claus began. We told how it all began with an ordinary man who loved Jesus Christ. He wanted to share that love by helping others, and he found a way to do that so as not to draw attention to himself.

That man did not have superhuman powers or magic reindeer. He simply loved Jesus and wanted to serve Him by helping others.

As Christmas drew near that year, our daughter occasionally asked a question about Santa. We always gave her gentle and honest answers. She never cried, complained, or needed therapy. Neither did the rest of our children whom God blessed us with in the following years.

I tell you the truth: none of our kids have ever missed having “Santa” in our home. They thoroughly enjoyed giving and receiving gifts, no matter whose name was signed on the gift tag!

They also better understood why some children received extravagant gifts and some received very little. It wasn’t due to a spying elf or an unfair Santa. Certainly, it wasn’t based on lists that recorded a child’s sleeping habits and behavior throughout the year!

It all must have rested well with them because they’re grown now and have their own kids, whom they chose to tell the truth about Santa from day one. Their Christmas seasons are chocked full of fun and joy!

Other Ways to Approach Santa

One mom, Jo Eberhardt of Australia, said she’s always told her kids the truth about Santa. But, their family has chosen to play the Santa Game. They buy or make gifts and secretly give them to people, never revealing that they gave the gifts.

She tells her children that some parents choose to play the Santa Game with their own children, and it’s unacceptable to ruin someone else’s game by revealing who their Santa is. Her kids also know that the gifts those children get from “Santa” aren’t extras, so they know they’re not missing out on presents. They would get the same number of gifts regardless if the parents played the Santa Game with them. If they did play Santa, only the name of the giver on the tag would change.

Are you worried other children will ask your kids to tell them the truth about Santa? The Mom Psychologist, Dr. Jazmine, gives a few tips. She says to tell your children they can “excuse themselves from the conversation, stay quiet and not participate in the conversation, or share a memory of Santa.” But she thinks it’s important to emphasize to your child not to spoil the game for little ones. 

As always, children can give the typical reply if they’re asked about Santa’s validity: “Talk to your parents about that.”

A heart-to-heart talk with your children may be all you need. But, you may also open the door to a conversation by reading a book about Santa.

A cautionary note is due here. I searched Goodreads for books telling the truth about Santa, which yielded 77 results. I advise parents to read the books beforehand to see if they convey what they want them to. Some tell the history of Saint Nicholas. But they still provide a hint of illusion, just in case your child still wants to believe in the myth.

If you read the comments in those book reviews, you’ll see numerous folks struggling with telling their children the truth. Some say they agonize over it because they remember how devastated they were as children to learn it was all fabricated.

Last Thought

If you haven’t started shoving Santa’s ginormous bag in the Polar Express yet, please carefully consider the pros and cons of beginning such a journey–and how it may end.

It’s easy to create memories just as merry by doing other things together. Children cherish your love and spending time with you. They often discover the real joys of Christmas come simply by feeling loved and knowing the truth.

Her nonfiction writing appears in worldwide, national, and regional publications including Appleseeds, Clubhouse Jr., Homeschooling Today, and The Old Schoolhouse.

She and her husband live in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and are blessed with three children, two sons-in-law, and armfuls of grandbabies. Connect with Sally on several social media sites, but her favorite hangouts are at SallyMatheny.com and Pinterest.

Motivated by the power of story, history, and His Story, Sally Matheny’s passion is telling the next generation wondrous things.