How to Prepare Our Little Girls Now for Their Future Weddings

When my daughters were little, they received a treasure for their imaginations—a container full of dress-up costumes, including the ever-popular wedding dress. Planning for these little girls’ future weddings began early.

Do you have a pint-size princess bride twirling through your home? Delightful giggles bubble out as she waves from the top of the sofa—I mean, her horse-drawn carriage. And she shares with you all the magnificent details of her royal wedding.

Savor these sweet, imaginative moments. Because there’s a fine crack between glass slippers and reality. Unless a fairy godmother or a rich grandmother is in the story, you may not be able to make your little girl’s fairytale wedding dreams come true.

Fear not. I have a few tips on how to prepare our little girls now for their future weddings.

Consider the Cost of Your Little Girls’ Future Weddings

In 2019, the average cost of a wedding in the United States hit around $33,000 according to The Knot. While we’d all do just about anything for our daughters, taking out a large loan for wedding expenses may not be the wisest decision.  

If you’re blessed with daughters, regardless of their current age, there are a few things you can do now to prepare them for their beautiful wedding day. In fact, if your daughter is currently a toddler, you have a greater advantage.

I’m not talking about starting a savings account for the wedding. You could, but for most parents, that’s not realistic. In the early years, all the “extra” money keeps bottoms dry and tummies full. Somehow, children grow faster than savings accounts and parents are doing all they can to save for college!

So, where does one start in preparing for a possible future wedding? It’s not solely about saving money. It’s about shepherding your daughter’s heart.

Beware of Visual Influence

We’ve all heard engaged women on television say something similar to, “All my life I’ve dreamed of a fairytale wedding” and then they set out to obtain one by any means necessary. Bridal reality shows like Say Yes to the Dress (TLC), Bridezillas (WE TV), and My Fair Wedding (WE TV) provide an excessive amount to tempt the imaginations of wide-eyed little girls gazing at the television.

Consider protecting your youngest viewers from such shows. If you allow them to watch, initiate conversations about the attitudes often displayed. Are they pleasing to God? How do the goals of the vendors and the consumers vary? Sometimes, children are unable to differentiate between an unrealistic wedding and a sensible, yet beautiful, one.

Sensible does not mean ugly or boring. Sensible means “sane, judicious, and wise.” Instead of planting thoughts of extravagant, bride-absorbed weddings in our children’s minds, we need to focus on gently planting seeds of wisdom, that will produce beautiful, God-honoring weddings.

Model for Your Little Girl

Talk with your daughter about your own “dream” wedding. Did you have a budget? Was money well-spent? Looking back, talk about what you would have done differently. That may mean you wished you had spent more in one area and less in another. Or, perhaps you wish behavior and heart issues were different.

When I was growing up, we didn’t have bridal-themed shows. However, I sat enthralled as Princess Diana’s wedding unfolded before my eyes on television. She was married in July 1981 and yes, it influenced my own wedding in July 1989. I wanted a long train and a big bouquet!

I remember when my mother and I were planning my wedding. She bought me my first bridal magazine and encouraged me to cut out photos of things I liked and place them in a folder. After I’d collected ideas, she then said to go back through and pick out the things I loved the most and she’d see what she could do.

I knew from the beginning I would have to work within a budget. From childhood, my parents taught me a good work ethic, the value of a dollar, and the importance of saving, tithing, and giving. Frivolous spending was not part of my upbringing so anything given to me for the wedding was deeply appreciated. Anything beyond the budget, I knew I would be paying for myself. And there were a few things I did. But, my parents also had taught us over the years how to work with what we have and how to be creative.

So, my mom and I had fun attending free bridal fairs and registering for giveaways. We shopped around and found good deals including a beautiful wedding gown with a long train! I’m sure there must have been some stressful moments, but I don’t remember them. I just remember having fun.

Part of the fun was finding ways to recreate some of my favorite items from my 1989 “vision board” in less expensive ways.  My mom was highly skilled at that. One small example of this is when I had clipped a photo from a Victorian magazine of something I liked for the reception décor. It showed Victorian lace gloves draped over roses in a basket. Near it was a brim hat wrapped in organza. My mom studied it and recreated it perfectly for a fraction of the cost. I loved it even more because of the time and the loving touch she put into it.

Stay Rooted in the Truth

God gave children imaginations. It’s precious and delightful for children to pretend and dream. But somewhere along the line, we must lovingly teach our daughters it’s not glass slippers, a castle, or a fairy godmother that make a wedding beautiful. Not even a handsome gentleman, a sweet kiss, or a second mortgage to finance it.

Preparing our little girls now for their future weddings means keeping them rooted in the truth. Remind them beauty begins in the heart.

As our little girls (and we moms) grow, we need God’s help in developing the traits needed, not only for future wedding planning, but more importantly, for a healthy marriage. Love, patience, kindness, compassion, gentleness, and joy. Also, humility, self-control, and forgiveness because no one is perfect, except for our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Ultimately, I had an imperfect, yet beautiful, God-honoring wedding. Praise the Lord, both of my daughters also have had the same. We used the “Wedding Day Security Checklist: Armor for the Bride” as a reminder.

So, cherish the moments with your creative, twirly-whirly little girls. As they grow, remind them they are the daughters of the King of Kings and what that means. Guide their princess hearts to seek Him in all things, including their weddings.

Your thoughts?