Pushing Reset On Your Family’s Relationship With Screens

The author of [Un]Intentional: How Screens Secretly Shape Your Desires, and How You Can Break Free, Doug Smith, is guest posting about the value of pushing reset on your family’s relationship with screens. You’re in for a treat because Doug offers an insider’s perspective on the impact of technology, informed by over two decades of web programming experience and a lifetime of Bible study.

Pushing Reset On Your Family’s Relationship With Screens

by Doug Smith, thatdougsmith.com

Three words describe parenting (or mentoring) kids in our screen-saturated world: Just. Plain. Hard. Seemingly out of nowhere, devices have poured into every crack and crevice of our existence. Like weeds in an untended field, they sprout up everywhere, fed by relentless advertising, peer pressure, and our kids crying for “more, more, more!”

But our families aren’t better for it. We feel the tension between the ideal, nurturing home we long for and the kids’ constant demand for more time on Fortnite or Snapchat. We even feel ourselves pulled into something on a screen. Virtual reality can seem easier than dealing real reality.

Unfortunately, most people don’t know the real cause of our conflict over screens. We’re all lured into increasing our screen time because the tech industry intentionally makes their products habit-forming and addictive. They manipulate our behavioral psychology with the latest scientific research. They’re literally waging war on our hearts and minds.

Using Biblical Strategies Against Us

Even as Christian parents, it’s so easy to go along with cultural norms and adopt every new gadget that comes along. Most of us don’t have a plan for “Deuteronomy-Sixing” our kids — teaching the good ways of the Lord every opportunity we can. We’re busy, tired, and just trying to get by.

Yet the media leaders and the giant tech monopolies invest billions into using Deuteronomy 6 against us. They shape our desires when we wake up, before we go to sleep (or all night long), at mealtime, when we drive, at the park, the ball field, or the bus stop. Because God’s ancient plan for teaching works, for good or ill.

When I realized the effect all this screen time was having on me and my family, and how intentional the industry was, I had to do something about it. I knew I had to become more intentional about my life than they were. I had to become counter-cultural.

Pushing Reset

With God’s help, we can reset our homes to His good way. Instead of going along with tech-obsessed culture, we can form a positive counter-culture founded on surrender to our Lord Jesus Christ instead of the latest app, game, or show.

For many of us, that reset is going mean big changes. And that’s okay. As Christians, we have the hope that comes from the unfathomable love and grace of God (Ephesians 3:14-21). If God can be gracious with us as we learn and grow in Him, we can be gracious with ourselves and our kids.

Here’s a five-step plan to start your counter-cultural reset:

1. Learn. Understand the intentionally addictive strategies that the industry is leveraging against you. Let the righteous indignation that comes from this knowledge motivate you.

2. Cast a vision. What could your life be like, how free could you be, and how much could God do in and through you, if you were free from addictive screens? It’s so much easier to say no, when you have a better yes.

3. Apologize. When you realize that you’ve let technology take over your kids’ lives, tell them honestly. You didn’t know before, but now you do. Tell them you understand that changes will be hard, but that you’ll get through them together.

4. You go first. Make the changes you need to make. “Do what I say, not what I do” doesn’t work. You’ll have to break free from your phone if you want your child to break free from video games. My book shows you how.

5. Get help. Don’t do this alone. Get your best friends to join you on your counter-cultural way. One way is to start a Screen Strong group inspired by my friend Melanie Hempe.

God has given us “everything we need for life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3), even in our tech-obsessed culture. If you “press reset” in wholehearted devotion to God, He will empower you to become the family that He made you to be. And even if your kids aren’t on board right away, they will eventually “rise up and call you blessed” (Proverbs 31:28).

Author Bio

Doug Smith offers an insider’s perspective on the impact of technology, informed by over two decades of web programming experience and a lifetime of Bible study. He’s a popular speaker, mentor, and author of [Un]Intentional: How Screens Secretly Shape Your Desires, and How You Can Break Free. Doug is gratefully married to fellow author, Lyneta, and the couple is blessed with four wonderful daughters. Find out more at http://thatdougsmith.com and http://unintentionalbook.com.

Thank you, Doug, for sharing these insights and wisdom for Christian parenting. They will certainly help us push reset on the family’s relationship with screens.

If you’d like to read my review of Doug’s book, you’ll find that here. Would you like to win a copy of Doug’s book? Leave a comment below to be entered into the drawing. We’ll randomly draw a winner on September 6, 2019.

We have a winner! Congratulations, Tracy. Your name was drawn from the hat as the winner of Doug’s book. Thanks to all who participated, and thank you, Doug, for writing and donating a copy of this much needed book.